No second chances for b**ches like me

So what do you do when someone you live with suddenly hates you? First you try to figure out what went wrong, then you fix it (if you are a responsible human being that is). Sometimes people don't want to resolve things. Then you can only do so much to make life hospitable. Such is the case with me right now. My roommate has decided I am no longer a friend via some comment I once made in my blog. (Reminds me of those cases where you loose your job over a blog) As she put it, nothing I can say will change anything. It's too bad she feels that way. I have no intention of leaving this semester even if she is going to make my life a living hell now. I don't know how mean she can be, since I've never been on this end of her stick. In my opinion what I had wrote about her wasn't that bad, but I guess to her it means everything. It was also dated material, months ago in October '04. Her interpretation of what I said probably was worse than I intended it to be. (Am I really that much of a bitch?) I probably wouldn't want to hear anything bad about me either. She probably won't be reading my blog anymore now, I can assume. Maybe she'll go on a spree telling everyone how bad I am, but I don't think she's the type. Maybe one or two people that she trusts and hangs out with. I used to be really hurt when people talked bad about me. I haven't had it happen to me for a while so I don't know how I would react. I don't know if she is that type of person, I really don't think so though. I think she deserves more credit in this situation, she could have tried to get into a physical fight or something, throwing my belongings around. Yes it's harsh that she said nothing I said would change a thing, that everything I would say is an excuse, and that I should talk to an RA to consider other living arrangements. Sigh. Hence the no second chances. Not everyone takes criticism lightly. I suppose I am lucky that David hasn't left me for the comments that I have made about him. All I can do now is avoid making her even more upset. Dunno what that means just yet. I guess life is going to be about my heartbeat getting uncontrollably fast now. I don't doubt that she'll never forgive me. She's probably got a few good things to say about me (good as in bad). I just hope I don't turn into a crybaby. I used to control my tears really well when I was younger and had to face trying situations like this daily. I might have lost that ability now. It would just give her another reason to hate me. She's still not a bad person, despite all this. Just very headstrong. I had suspected something was wrong around Weds or Thurs of lastweek. I could have pretended I didn't notice, but I didn't want to be insensitive to her. But I guess I already was too insensitive. I wish her luck in future endeavors, and hope we can still live together peacefully for the rest of the semester. I know she won't listen to apologies because she deems them excuses, but I'm still sorry that this happened. I've always been a sorry excuse for a person anyway.